I’m a pretty chill, hippy, muthafucker, but this past year, mainly starting in 2018, I’ve had nothing but conflicts with people.
I grew up Catholic, so you can only imagine the kind of guilt I feel when I go through a conflict with another person.
Questions come up like, Am I acting like an asshole here? Am I losing a friend here? What the hell is going on here!
Usually there are no answers. Just the situation at hand and how to handle it in a civilized fashion.
The main thing I’ve learned in my old age is not to argue at all.
You can read why arguing is a bad idea in a book called “How to Win Friends and Influence People.” I also think the same subject is touched on in “Think and Grow Rich,” but these two books basically say arguing in a waste of time so don’t do it.
It was as blessing to learn how to not argue with others.
But there is still conflict in my life anyway, so what gives?
It’s a matter of growing or not growing as a person with me.
I believe I am a student of life and I will continue to learn, take classes, educate myself whether I have to pay for it or not until I freaking die.
It’s just going to be this way for me because I want to succeed in life.
And anyone who does not read books or take a class is a ‘fool’ in my opinion, but of course I keep these opinions to myself 😉
Mostly I see people just listening to other people’s opinions and this is a terrible idea. It would be much better if they read a book to find out the right information they’re seeking! Grrrrrrrr!
But back to conflict and how it has become this thing that’s happened to me a lot in 2018.
During Xmas I was contracted for a writing gig with a boss who acted like a doosh.
The guy literally said to me during the interview, “I fired two people before hiring you.”
Red flag, right?
I did the gig anyway.
The pay was real low and I knew it was going to suck, but I said to myself, I can learn something new! I can get published! I can make my family proud by getting published and put it on my resume! so I proceeded to do it and for 3 weeks I stressed myself out writing an article and didn’t even celebrate Xmas or New Years because that’s how bad the gig was and how it took all my energy that I didn’t even want to do anything during the holidays after.
In a sense I couldn’t help but do this gig even though I should’ve listened to my gut in the beginning and not done it because small amounts of money are not worth a stressful time to me personally.
It’s funny because after the experience I said to myself, When I meet another A’hole like this guy again I’ll know better!, but maybe I won’t.
Should I beat myself up if I make the same mistake again and work for another doosh?
My Catholic upbringing says yes and that I should flagellate myself like I’m a medieval monk living in the dark ages, but I know I can just smile and be like, No thanks, brutha! the next time I’m presented with a shitty opportunity that will fuck up my life and my holiday.
After a bad situation with a dooshbag boss, who breeds conflict because it’s the only thing that gets him off, I usually go read a book to learn about people or the psychology of because deep down I know there is a solution and I just don’t know what it is yet, but books at the Barnes and Noble or bought off Amazon do, man.
I remember a time when I went on a spell reading blog post after blog post, day after day, looking for answers to something and of course I found one or two in the end, but it’s not easy to seek answers to your problems online.
So if I talk about something in my blog or in my newsletter you should know it took me a while to find this gem and that’s the only reason it’s worth writing about in the end.
I don’t want to promote bullshit and create conflict with my audience.
I actually want you to like me.
I’m serious.
And if I can reveal my heart in my writing I will. Know that.
I’ve had more than one experience this year where I’ve decided to walk away from conflict and deal with it in a way that’s mature and to start believing better things are coming for me even though I was leaving one experience behind.
One door closes and another one opens, right?
It’s the only way we can look at it and still feel good about our lives.
So let’s try it.
What’s ‘chi?’ (Hint. It’s not a drink you get in a coffee shop.)