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7 Ways To Get Over Heartache

August 6, 2018

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It's impossible

There's no way to get over it, so just suffer-- I'm kidding!

There's always hope.

It's hard to follow someone else's advice when you're heartbroken.

In the end you know as well as I that it's best to be around friends who care when you feel brokenhearted, but here are some suggestions that might help ease your pain.

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1. Type "How to get over Heartache" into YouTube search and see what comes up

Sometimes it's hard to find a YouTube video that isn't sale-sy, but honestly I'm good at finding something useful on the YouTubes. When it does happen I suggest you binge watch the whole series of videos you found until you get something out of it and start to feel better or learn a new way to cope with your heartache.

2. Realize you will get over it... Say what?

So many ladies and not enough time! at least that is how the voice inside my head sees it when I feel like shit because my heart's been broken into smithereens. Honestly, I'd much rather act like a tragic Romeo or Tristan character than listen to that tiny voice that tells me to buck up and get over it, but every once in a while it presents a solid case.

For example, I remember once I heard the voice inside me say, "You got over that other girl that made you lay in your bed in the fetal position for six months straight, so you can definitely get over this other pretty face, can't ya? In fact there's a slew of girls you've met in your life that you don't have a crush on anymore, so chew on that, buster."

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Like I said it's hard to listen to this voice of reason where the truth is so blunt and I would much rather pity myself and go die than listen to this voice of encouragement inside myself explaining that I have more life to live and more women to meet, but alas, this voice really does have a good point even if I don't ever want to see it.

3. Seek professional help

I've sought so much professional help, in the last eighteen years specifically, I should have my own degree in psychology. Some people say they can't afford to see a shrink (most girls I thought I wanted to date said this... Hmmmmm) but that shouldn't stop you from begging, stealing and doing whatever you can to get the money for a professional's advice. We do live in an advanced civilization and not an ancient one so suffering in depression is not something you need to do. You know I'm right, playa!

4. Go out and about

Try a cafe where people are and allow yourself to observe others. Drink coffee, eat a pastry and live a little. Most people will look more happy than you are, this is a given, but it should encourage you in the end. For example, can you smile at a happy couple flirting with each other because you know deep down you can have what they have in the future. It's nicer than scowling at them because you're jealous don't you think? It helps to be happy for others that have what you hope to have soon... Love.

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5. Call your friend

There was one time in my life when I was so heartbroken a friend called me on the phone and found me crying. Then not too long after that a different friend showed up at my place and the door was open and he found me sitting on the floor crying. Yes, I sought professional help, but I was fucking things up by isolating myself and not calling my friends to talk about my heartache. Not all friends can give you good advise or a shoulder to cry on, so choose wisely and open up to your BFF only!

6. Join a gym

There's nothing like this decision. When you go the gym you've basically decided you're going to change yourself. When you work out you change your state of being and the way you felt before you worked out is not the same as after working out. It's strange to think about, but it's true, so if you don't have a gym membership stop reading this blog post and go get one, now!

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7. Stop talking to the person who broke your heart

You're doing yourself a favor when you stop engaging with the one who is rejecting you. For some reason calling them or texting them will push them away even more especially if you want to argue and stuff. Realize there's nothing you can do but go and talk to new people and get to know someone else. You really can do it even though it seems a mission impossible.

I'm sorry you experienced heartache

There's nothing worse really in my book, but you won't die and you're going to need to start doing something once you realize you're still alive and kicking despite this unfortunate circumstance.

Take a baby step today and do something fun.

Call a shrink or a friend.

You just need to try to feel something different than awfulness, that's all, so take a baby step.

You can do it, good looking!

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Without Joseph Campbell there’d be no “Star Wars”

May 11, 2018

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Read on Medium.com.

Did you know Joseph Campbell said George Lucas was the best student he ever had?

“Who?” you’re wondering. “And why does that matter when I could just go stream a Star Wars movie instead of reading this blog post?”

Well, let me explain. Joe Campbell wrote books about the influence of myths.

This guy Campbell researched ancient religions, tribes, and all their stories from long ago.

Another man named Bill Moyers did a whole series on PBS years ago about the subject of “myth” and even interviewed Joseph Campbell. The show and book is simply called The Power of Myth.

Basically, my point is Campbell's books are very important to anyone who considers themselves a writer.

For example, have you heard of the hero’s journey? There’s usually a hero, some wise old sage he learns from to help the hero get the insight he needs to defeat evil and his enemies — and these are just a few of the things a writer should think about when writing stories.

Goerge Lucas honored Joseph Campbell once and said, “I had an idea of doing a modern fairy tale . . . (I) stumbled across The Hero with a Thousand Faces . . . I began to understand how I could do this. It was a great gift.”

I don’t know about you, but the fact that George Lucas became a household name because he studied Campbell’s books makes me want to go out and buy everything written by this guy.

Here’s a list of books you should check out to continue your own personal odyssey of becoming the next George Lucas.

How Star Wars Conquered the Universe: The Past, Present, and Future of a Multibillion Dollar Franchise by Chris Taylor

Everyone’s reading this one to get the nitty gritty on how George Lucas did it.

Star Wars Trilogy Bonus Disc (2004)

A surprisingly cool video about George Lucas and the cast of Star Wars.

The Hero with a Thousand Faces (The Collected Works of Joseph Campbell) by Joseph Campbell

The Power of Myth by Joseph Campbell and Bill Moyers

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Interview with a Maze Designer

April 13, 2018

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D D Stewart has sixty-one mazes scanned into his computer. Apparently he has hundreds more at his disposal, just waiting for the privilege of becoming digitized.

I sit with him at a booth in a Boulder, Colorado Denny's. If the restaurant allowed smoking we would both be partaking. He seems like he is anxious to step outside and have a cigarette. He has not touched his “Grand Slam-which.”

Then I start to ask him questions about mazes.

What was your first maze like?

“The manager was twenty-one and hired a staff of eighteen-year-olds. Somewhere in middle of this crazy atmosphere, in a dead mall with no customers, I sat at the counter and drew this trippy maze. That was the first one I ever did. Not enough sleep... and working in a dead mall.”

How many mazes have you done all together?

“Several hundred since I was 18. I've been doing it for fifteen years.”

Do you “do” mazes? Do you play them?

“I collect maze books. I'm able to go through mazes with my eyes, without a pen or pencil... I have to go through every single one of my own mazes because to draw a maze you have to go through it. The way is not the path from beginning to end, but it is to go through every path and make sure there is one way through it.”

What's the definition of a maze to you?

(There's a long silence as D D sits across from me in the booth.)

“A beginning and an end and there's an intricate path between... I'm able to do these in a lot of different mediums. When I started doing mazes I would start with pencil and then outline it with permanent marker. Then I would take white-out and make it look all pretty. Next I would take it to Kinkos and make copies of it. Then I copied that and redid it again and again. I would make like six versions of one maze. I've spent a lot of time at Kinkos just copying designs and redo-ing them with white-out.”

Currently you're making mazes that serve as stand alone art pieces that hang on a wall?

“Now-a-days I do mazes in different mediums. Pencil, pen, permanent marker, on computer software... Currently, I'm working in 'Paint' on Windows and making straight, pixilated lines and the end result is an optical illusion because I've situated lines into certain patterns. The medium itself creates the complicated design. It's the background I create that's the focus now. It's what I do before I draw a maze that creates the maze now. I've designed simple walking mazes before and it is something I would like to do again. A museum, an amusement park, a Halloween event; there are lots of places I could design something really neat if the right people were involved. I had a lot of fun at an Art Walk one year, putting down an eighty-foot by twenty-foot maze on the sidewalk in front of Stonebridge Games on Main Street. You could enter on either the North or South side, find your way to the store entrance, and then back out the maze the other direction. Kids and adults both had fun trying to find their way in and out.”

Above: A scale model of the walking maze design by D D Stewart with two entrances on the sidewalk that lead to the entrance of a store.

“In the future I would like to find someone who can invest a lot of money into a restaurant with three floors. Before you get to the entrance of the restaurant you have to journey through two floors of mazes. I've even figured out the proper fire codes to adhere to for this project."

D D sees promise in looking for newspapers and magazines to publish his mazes. He also likes the idea of making a book to sell online both digitally and physically.

“A big one, you can put it on a coffee table in the living room even. Maybe selling it in other countries is a possibility, too.”

He also likes the idea of using mazes as Brain Therapy.

“Thinking therapy... Brain therapy... Mazes are complicated and have to do with problem solving. Mazes could be marketed to people with brain injuries or for brain training.”

Interview originally done back on 6-12-2015.

Photo Selfie: D D Stewart

Update 2018:

Visit www.kulsiz.com or buy D D's maze books off Amazon as "Print on Demand" here.

That Denny's is closed permanently, now.

The interviewer doesn't smoke cigarettes anymore.

facebook.com/Kulsiz

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Insider’s Take: Book Covers

April 9, 2018

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They say, Don’t judge a book by it’s cover, but sometimes all we talk about at my writers group is the opposite of that saying.

There’s always a huge debate on how artistically designed book covers will sell more copies on Amazon than a poorly designed one and if you don’t hire a graphic designer for hundreds of dollars you’re really missing the boat!

Common questions that usually come up are How much does cover design cost? or Can I design my book cover on my own? and after a while you feel stumped and are left thinking people don’t read, they just look at the pretty pictures.

Well there’s some truth to all that because recently I talked to a local writer, Caitlin Berve, and she had something to say about book cover design. You see, Caitlin used to work in a chain bookstore and she’s seen lots of books fly off the shelves based on just the covers.

“It was basically… where the cover’s kind of art in itself,” she told me. “It doesn’t just have the name on it or it doesn’t just have a picture that’s only for people who read that genre, but it’s kind of more than that… It’s really one’s that have images.”

The Raven King’s book cover was one she said stood out above the rest.

“Everyone who walked by it picked it up, even the people who I knew who only read non-fiction because they were regular customers.”

She also noticed more sales from the The Mortal Instruments book series and from Hollow City: The Second Book of Ms. Peregrine’s Peculiar Children.

“I’ve been involved in a couple of Facebook groups that are for writers,” she added, “and font makes a huge difference… There have a been a couple of covers where you put it up there and it’s like the person describes the book and I’m like, ‘Because of the font you chose this looks more like a romance and it’s really an action adventure story!’”

Eventually she made her own list and put it up on Pinterest.

https://www.pinterest.com/caitlinberve/cover-art-that-made-people-pick-up-the-books

Rollerball

April 2, 2018

Rollerball the movie was originally a short story written by William Harrison in the 70s called "Roller Ball Murder."

The movie was made in 1975 and Harrison is credited as writing the screenplay, too.

The short story got published in Esquire and a director read it and eventually talked to Harrison to make "Rollerball" the movie.

There was a remake in the 2000's but apparently it does not live up to James Cann's version where he plays the character Johnathan E.

I ordered the old paperback off Amazon recently and sat down to read Roller Ball Murder. It is 20 pages and is done in 1st person present tense.

It's creatively done with a certain sparseness and you can clearly see how the movie is way different, with more details, but after I read the short story it's obvious why it was picked up as a film.

It's genius.

The rest of Harrison's stories are also done in 1st person and it feels like a lost treasure when I hold it in my hand and read them.

If you like reading origination stories of popular movies like I do you can order a copy on Amazon for yourself.

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Do you know how to clean your tap water?

April 1, 2018

Do you know how to clean your tap water?

I have a counter top water filtration center in my house.

I just put water from the tap in there, filter it, and drink clean water.

If you've never heard of this type of water filtration it's great. There's a ceramic filter at the top, the water drips through it and goes through a mineral cartridge filter.

These types of devices claim to remove contaminants from your tap water, different chemicals, chlorine and they even add micro-nutrients and bio-energy properties.

Here's one I found on Amazon that even has mineral stones on the bottom and a magnetic spigot.

You do have to replace the parts of the filter every 6 to 12 months and buy them again, though.

If you're new to learning about the healing properties of water, there's a great book about a man in Japan who made water healthy just by suggesting positive words to glasses of it. It's an incredible book and it will convince you, too, to clean your tap water before you drink it.

Energy = Flow

March 31, 2018

I talked to an interesting woman at a hotel bar yesterday.

I was at the hotel bar because my friend invited me to a free real estate seminar. I'm not really a real estate person, but my friend is always talking about ideas with me, so naturally I'd be willing to tag along with him to a seminar on real estate. Good friends do stuff like that for each other.

I got dressed up in a yellow tie, beige blazer, black pants and a pair of green Van sneakers I bought "new" the day before at Nordstrom Rack. I even wore a watch I designed myself on Zazzle.com.

I dressed up because my friend told me he wanted to buy a suit for job interviews, so naturally, I turned around, pulled all my "good" clothes out of my closet and now I've been wearing them for the past two days, just because.

Anyway, I sat at that hotel bar drinking happy hour beer and writing things down in my journal when a husband and wife couple sat down next to me.

The two were regulars because other servers were saying "hi" to them and smiling.

She ordered a drink and said the words "on the rocks" and "dirty" in the same sentence.

I just sat there writing in my journal, writing about the high hotel ceiling, the liquor on the shelves with spotlights shining down on the bottles like they're actors on a stage, writing a hotel scene that I will be using in a new story.

I even started writing about the couple, making up stuff, because I was curious.

All the while I sat sending and taking messages on my "dumb" phone, scheduling future interviews I'm going to do for my GoshDarnBlog.com site.

The husband asked me, "Still working?" as if I should leave it at all at the office because it's past 5 o'clock. I didn't tell him I was a writer, but closed my eyes and laughed and said, "My work's never over."

After thirty minutes sitting next to the couple, a woman in a baseball cap recognized them and said, "Holy Cajoly!"

I thought it was funny, "Holy Cajoly? I've never heard that one before!" I said.

The wife had heard it before and commented on how there's always something new to learn. She was interested in talking to me more and told me she channels energy. I told her I was a creative writer and tried to get her email for my list, but instead just gave her a business card.

She wanted to tell me what she sensed. I was hesitant, but after explaining my hesitation from past unpleasant experiences with new age people; like I'd been to an event once where we did one on one exercises with audience members, where more than one person told me I was depressed, which was way wack for me, but I decided to let her tell me about my vibration or whatever.

She said we are all unique. 1 in 8 billion people, and each one of us is unique! I was learning this idea, just now, and finding my own way.

All true really.

"We should all make life more simple and not delve so deep into the intellectual side of things."

I knew this already being such a nerd writer myself. "Thinking" will give you high blood pressure because it's where stress comes from, so that makes thinking bad for your health!

"If you go for a walk you're creating new energy. You can receive new thoughts for story ideas. You can reset your body."

She also said when you die you realize you've wasted a lot of time being negative, which you're allowed to do here on the earth plane, but in the end you discover there's only good energy out there... everywhere.

I told her there was a Black Eyed Peas song I heard years ago, an intro to their album, that had a similar theme. I made a dj mix with that song as the intro once that got on a podcast.

The idea that there's invisible energy out there, waiting for all of us to accept the unconditional love, is a great message to hear.

"It's all about flow," she said.

The most interesting thing she said was how when you sit around and do nothing the energy from the past is old and you need to get new energy "flowing."

Since it's springtime now, it's easy for all of us to go out and access all this. Go for a walk and see what's available for you out there good energy wise.

Last night a friendly dog on a leash wagged its tail and sniffed me when I went out walking.

For some further study on this subject you can read a book called "Flow" on Amazon.

What Buddha Says

March 29, 2018

"Chaos is inherent in all compounded things. Strive on with diligence."
- Siddhartha Gautama, founder of Buddhism

I have a Buddha poster on my wall.

A good friend gave it to me a while back. It sits on my wall so I can easily look at a list of quotes.

The quote above is from that poster and I always look at that one and think about it.

Chaos is everywhere, in every "thing" and you can't get away from it, this quote seems to be saying.

Then it's like "strive on player," and the big smiling Buddha statue reaches out to give you a fist bump.

Diligence means "conscientiousness, hard work, concentration, effort, care, rigor, meticulousness, thoroughness."

Notice how it doesn't say "ignore" the chaos or drop a bomb on the chaos or destroy the chaos so it doesn't exist anymore.

I grew up Christian, so it's not always easy for me to understand what the "Buddha say."

My cousin's husband was in my place one time. He's a minister. He said, looking at my Buddha poster, "They got almost everything right."

Meaning they got everything right but Jesus? That would be a great bumper sticker. "Honk if you like Buddha, but love Jesus." Etc, etc.

Yesterday chaos for me was some stranger, who I didn't know, on Facebook, who made fun of me because I got my degree at a Buddhist/writing school called Naropa.

I didn't engage because "sticks and stones," but this whole idea of "destroying" another person through violence, whether words or weapons, really freaked me out for a good minute.

How do you strive on in diligence?

Meditate?

Pray?

Probably.

Meet an Author

March 28, 2018

I meet a lot of local writers.

Meet Caitlin Berve. She's a published author, an editor, a blog/vlog poster and she even teaches.

She's an avid reader and writer of young adult fiction, modern fairy tales, and any story genre you might find advertised down at your local Comic Con.

Her company Ignited Ink Writing can help you polish that writing project that needs "fixin" if you ever want to hire her.

If you go to her website and sign up for her newsletter she'll send you writing prompts in your email inbox!

Currently she's working on fiction and plans to have her works self-published in the future.

She made a YouTube video about manuscript formatting.

Follow her advice and present yourself professionally!

https://www.ignitedinkwriting.com/

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Need Motivation? Read this.

March 27, 2018

He's got big teeth, a deep voice and is seven feet tall, everyone knows him, he's Tony Robbins! But have you ever sat down and read on of his bestselling motivational books?

Unlimited Power and Awaken the Giant Within by Tony Robbins

These two books are a great start to getting introduced to Tony's philosophy on how to live a better life. His books will show you how to change your psychological makeup and make you feel good.

I remember one exercise I learned from him was smiling at strangers when I walked down the street. I also remember a great story he told about how to deal with grumpy clients. He just sat there smiling and listening to the client until he calmed down and then they inked the deal!

Jim Rohn was his mentor at a young age if you're interested in learning about him, too.